Trailer Park Names

I have a number of women walking around in my body. She doesn't show herself often, but a classy, respectable woman that is completely level headed and business minded, is in the mix. The older I get, that raging, hormonal bitch that wants to rip everyone's head off and shit down their throats, has spent more time at bat. Then there's the silly stoner that is infinitely young. And the tomboy, that thinks time spent drinking beer, farting and talking shit with the boys is absolutely necessary, that is most commonly in the lime light. A sassy, black girl also walks in these shoes. And, let's not forget the deep thinker and big dreamer - if only half of my dreams come true, I will still have a better life than anyone could ever wish for. Some of these ladies have names.

Nancy, the queen of the trailer park, was the first one that was labeled. Nancy sometimes drinks too much and goes out in public. Back in the day, Nancy did that a LOT. And she had her best friend right there with her -  drinking too much and having fun they didn't remember the next day. They were always the life of the party. Holla!

When anybody would say they had seen us out at the bar, we'd always say, "Oh no, that wasn't us. That was Nancy and Conrad." We thought they were fitting names, very random with some trailer park qualities. After a while, we began giving other people names as well. Sometimes we knew the people we renamed, but sometimes we didn't. It became a serious contest to see who could come up with the best trailer park name. (The following are examples of some classic trailer park names: Bobby Joe, Candy, Brandy, Rae Jean, Colby, Bert, Guy, Bubba, Sherry, Gary, Billy....and I think you get the picture.)

Years later, Conrad took a trip from North Carolina to California to visit his bestest friend, Nancy. We sat at a bar in the San Francisco airport upon his arrival, pointing and naming - Barb! Floyd! Roberta! Finally Conrad halted the game. "I just came up with the best trailer park name ever. Are you ready?...This is a good one...MISTY!" We both busted into uncontrollable laughter.

I'm not sure how he never found out that Misty is my legal, first name. "You stupid fucker, that's my first name. How do you not know that after all these years?"

When he heard that, he laughed harder, till tears ran down his face. "What the fuck ever! I don't believe you. Lemme see your driver's license."

I pulled out my wallet and showed him. We both laughed until our faces hurt.

What is your trailer park name?