You Know You're Fat When...

I have found in life, that a LOT of women gain weight as they grow older and we like to sit around and talk about how and why it happened. But the one thing it seems like most of us chunky women have in common, is the fact that we usually don't think we look as bad as the other fat women, mingling in the world around us. The other night, I was talking to one of my besties of fifteen years and she said, "Yea, when I'm watching The Biggest Loser, I think how fat those bitches look and then realize they don't weigh that much more than me, but I'm sure I don't look no ways that big."

After I finished choking on my spit, and got my laughter under control, I agreed with her. I am always amazed when I see pictures of myself these days. I swear, I look at pictures and think something must be wrong because there's no way I am that big but when everybody else in the picture looks the same size as they do in person, then you have to know that you're just fucking fat and you need to hit the gym. Every fat woman has a defining moment when you have to just suck it up and get over yourself and admit that you've let yourself go and "Yes, you are fat!"

My defining moment was about a year ago. I had gone to Lane Bryant to get some new bras which is where I have bought my bras for years because I have huge watermelon titties (and I hate them). In the recent years, I have started buying more than just bras there because I now fit into "big girl clothes". After going home, I realized that one of the bras was really comfortable and decided to exchange the others for the new comfy model. Back at the register, with the new bras I wanted in exchange, the cashier (all employees of Lane Bryant are big women - I think you have to be fat to work there) begins polite, small talk. "Oh yea, I just love the "back smoothers" - they're really comfortable."

This was my defining moment. You know you're fat when you have to wear a bra that is built to cover up the fat rolls on your fucking back. Then I went to Cinn-a-bun.